I went to Him over and over again.I would leave, only to return.I would feel whole for a moment, then find myself running back to the very things I had once vomited.I kept eating my vomit.
Again and again.Until I became tired of my own cycles.Tired of falling.Tired of returning to what was destroying me.Then I began to cry…”Lord, please! Don’t let me waste away like this. Don’t let my life become a reflection of everything You have delivered me from.”
I begged.I cried.I prayed.I asked myself, Can something so deeply rooted in this body ever be removed? Can I truly be free?
I kept begging until I thought the battle was finally over. But then, in the place of prayer, I encountered two men, looking like madmen, seemingly ready to devour me.Fear stood before me.But something greater rose within me.
ISAIAH 61:1a! “The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me…” And suddenly, I remembered who I was! I was not abandoned. I was not forgotten. I was not defined by my past. I was not the sum of my struggles. I was anointed!I overcame, and where I once saw myself defeated, I now stood with a crown upon my head.
Then He spoke:”I shall build you, and you shall be built.” — Jeremiah 31:4
What a promise!
The same person who kept returning to her vomit would become a testimony of restoration.The same person who begged not to waste away would stand as evidence of God’s rebuilding power.
And this is the message:KNOW YOUR IDENTITY IN CHRIST!You are more than your struggles. More than your past. More than the things you have battled in secret. Don’t allow your experiences to redefine what God has spoken concerning you.You are anointed.You are being rebuilt. And your past does not have the final say.
